Havasu

Release date: January 20, 2022
Record label: Polyvinyl Record Co (USA)
Record label: Big Scary Monsters (UK/EU)

Produced by Andy D. Park & David Bazan
All songs written & arranged by David Bazan
Except: Track 1 music written with Erik Walters
Track 2 music written with Andy Fitts
Recorded by Andy D. Park at The Crumb
Mixed by Andy D. Park at The Crumb with David Bazan
Mastered by Chris Colbert at Numberstation
Art Direction by Jesse LeDoux
Cover photos by David Bazan
Studio photo by Ryan Russell

Don’t Wanna Move
More desert highways
In the heart of a twelve year old
Who can’t spot misdirection
Can’t risk more disconnection
Two kids, mom & dad
Monsoon out backseat glass
More rain than the cloud can hold
I see you
Storm blows into a flood
Then disappears
A thirsty desert floor drinks it in
Miles down below the skin
Endless hidden reservoirs
What difference would it make
If I could be real with you
I desperately don’t want to
Move to Lake Havasu
Bred to believe, taught to obey
Heard the call & moved away
I prayed and cried and cried and prayed
Still pissed off, still in pain
Still keep it hid & grit my teeth
Like you showed me
Still hope it’s not too late
For someone to know me
What difference would it make
If I could be real with you
I desperately don’t want to
Move to Lake Havasu

Too Much
First day, big school
Trying to keep my trepidation hid
Shrink along the corridors
Feeling out place, feeling like a fool
So you’re the new kid
You’re kinda cute, what’s up with you
I wanna say something cool so bad
But my face goes bright red
Too much desperation
For a casual conversation
Way too much information
To try and bridge the distance at all
Okay cool I’ll see you around
She laughed and my whole body cringed
No wait let me try again
I could really use a friend
But once I start I can never shut my mouth
I go on & on & on in a drone
Til even i’m not listening
Too much desperation
For a casual conversation
Way too much information
To try and bridge the distance at all
How long do I pretend I’m ok
Before I actually feel ok
And when will someone come along
And say buddy it don’t work that way
Don’t let yourself be buried here for always
How’d it go today
Comes the question in the quiet car ride home
Pretty good, I guess
Too much desperation
For a casual conversation
Way too much information
To try and bridge the distance at all

First Drum Set
I played the clarinet since fourth grade
A long time to wait for love
Cause ever since Beverly Hills Cop
The Heat Is On, I longed
For the saxophone
My dad’s concern was that the embouchure
Was easy and might make my lips too weak
To ever play a woodwind in an orchestra
An experience he wanted for me
After three years it was time to switch to saxophone
But the band director shook his head, forget it
I’m up to my ears in tenors and altos
And you’re solid on the clarinet
With tears in my eyes I looked up at my dad
Who looked back at the band director
Don’t you have any other openings
He replied, I could use another drummer
I looked at my dad, he looked at me
I nodded my head & he agreed
To trade in my clarinet
To get my first drum set
You know I couldn’t even play a beat yet
But I lugged it back to my room
Made it boom crack boom
All afternoon
I had no regrets
For trading in my clarinet
To get my first drum set
To get my first drum set
To get my first drum set
I showed up early to the band room
And heard some kid land a fill into a beat
Oh how i pestered that poor drummer
Begging him to show me repeatedly
To play sports about my feelings
Being in my body not my head
Oh it still sets my heart a reeling
I would already be dead without
My first drum set
I couldn’t even play a beat yet
But I lugged it back to my room
Made it boom crack boom
All afternoon
I got no regrets
For trading in my clarinet
To get my first drum set
To get my first drum set
To get my first drum set

Teenage Sequencer
You said to meet by the gym after school before volleyball
Your grin poked through the door and we met lips
As electric as the kiss was
The way you told me no
When I leaned in for another thrilled me more
There goes nature
Pulling me along like a sequencer
Right on time
Turning me into a teenager
Will I always be a teenager now
Oh I had a hard time falling asleep that night
Then woke up anxious to get to school
And exchange some sweet nothin
But when I saw you in the hall
Without an explanation
You called it off
There goes nature
Pulling me along like a sequencer
Right on time
Turning me into a teenager
I don’t wanna be a teenager now
Four breakups later
On the last day of school
You pulled me aside
And I tried to play it cool
You’d watched me all year
And you knew Bill was wrong
And you wished you had stayed through
The end of our song

Own Valentine
Found a new companion
But I couldn’t read the signs
Carnations and chocolate
For my first real valentine
Making her feel awful
For her plan to break it off
I knew I could shield her from hard feelings
If I could abandon mine
Passed her a note in history
Through her best friend by her side
You can’t help not liking me
I let her off the hook
Expertly erasing
How badly shook i was
Cause something heavy
Wouldn’t let me
Be my own valentine
Always on the TV
A better way to be me
Hoping someone finally sees
Well how about that best friend
Who sees me being sweet
the scorned flowers and candy
She’s delighted to redeem
While the one who loves me waits
Withering inside
Quieter than ever now
Unseen, languishing
While I chase anyone
Who even looks at me
Cause something heavy
Won’t let me
Be my own valentine

Making the Most of It
If I thought I could wake up
I would but I don’t
Or take a peek beneath
The skin, I could
But what good would it do
There’s too much under there
And I’m trying to make
The most of it
Not looking for a perfect fit
I can go along
To get along
But let me know
When I can quit
Makin’ the most of it
Makin’ the most of it
Why’s it always come out wrong
Needing repair
It never comes to stay
Ever almost there
On the tip of my tongue
It never goes away
And I’m trying to make
The most of it
Not looking for a perfect fit
Tho I can go along
To get along
I wanna know
When I can quit
Makin’ the most of it
Makin’ the most of it
Makin’ the most of it
Makin’ the most of it
Makin’
Makin’ the most

Old Wisdom
When you were little
You were scared to death
That the rapture already happened
Only you were left
Despite your constant vigilance
You had angered the Lord
Which somehow made you love him even more
On the same old wisdom
With the same result
Kids in turmoil
Thinking it’s their fault
With their souls wide open
To authority
Til they’ve traded everything
For a peace with no peace
You’re not allowed to see it
But you always had a choice
Between making a disciple
And knowing your little boy
I thought it was sinful
For me to know myself
And if I did I might wind up in hell
On the same old wisdom
With the same result
Kids in turmoil
Thinking it’s their fault
O my soul wide open
To authority
Til i traded everything
For a peace with no peace

Stranger
Got my hopes up pretty high
At an indoor outdoor roller skating rink
For someone else to feel the heat with
holding hands around the couple skate
Two by two they shuffled out
to a slow song that still takes my breath away
Leaving me solo at the snack bar
Eating my shame
Now you’re the stranger
Displaced, unknown
Trying to locate yourself
In someone else’s home
On someone else’s bones
This loneliness conditioned you to think
That it’s virtuous to suffer quietly
Never dreamed it’d be forever
Or hurt this way
Now you’re the stranger
Displaced, unknown
Trying to locate yourself
In someone else’s home
On someone else’s bones
I wanna go home now
I wanna go home

Good Feeling
Air condition cooled our skin
From our house to the lake
For melting drive thru soft serve
And one last swim to take
After we’d scrubbed the walls
For our deposit back
The moving truck all loaded up
Baking in the driveway blast
Leaving day is here at last
We’re trying to find a
Good feeling
A good feeling
A good feeling
Will we always be
Trying to get a
Good feeling to stay
I buried my first secret self
When I was only three
And I can’t bring this one with me
On that we both agree
Pretending to do handstands
Feet below the waterline
You stay on the bottom
& I swim for the light
Wrap my towel around me
Get back in the car
Like I am fine
And ride off to find a
Good feeling
A good feeling
A good feeling
Will I always be
Trying to get a
Good feeling to stay
Someday i’ll come back for you
I hoped without a plan
I almost didn’t make it
but here I finally am

Lost Myself
I lost myself in Havasu
Where the sunset lives
Over stucco houses
And canyons
With a flexible attitude
I fell in love
Though we would not get to be
Companions
Try again in Santa Cruz
Where the redwoods live
Over cliffs
Over the ocean
Keep a flexible attitude
But don’t fall away
Prepare yourself to stay
In motion